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Post by jokester on Mar 7, 2011 18:37:24 GMT
...and on and on and on. Strangers waiting. Up and down the boulevard. Etc. Etc
If all has gone well, this board should only be accessible to Tamel, Temporis, and myself.
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Post by jokester on Mar 7, 2011 18:42:40 GMT
"Tamel Stoneshaper," Tamel introduces herself, "an honour to meet you. Now if could explai-"
She stares at Temporis as he collapses and is revived by the Snark.
"...What just happened and are you alright?" she asks, her eyes gazing at him with confused concern... and then drifting over to the hat with a longing look...
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Post by jokester on Mar 7, 2011 18:53:07 GMT
Before Temporis can answer, however, a dwarven helicopter appears on the horizon, heading for them.
Yes, you read that correctly.
Dwarven. Helicopter.
"Oh good," the Snark sighs. "That is exactly what we need right now. Remind me again why I came to this?"
As the helicopter gets closer, it is possible to make out the words 'Tax Collection' stenciled on it. That's probably bad news. The dwarven government takes its gold very seriously.
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Post by timesting on Mar 7, 2011 19:46:05 GMT
"never fear i will help us"
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Post by jokester on Mar 7, 2011 19:51:09 GMT
The helicopter gets within decent range of you, and four black-clad masked dwarves descend on ropes and produce viciously-sharp swords. Each one has the word 'Bailiffs' on a badge on its front.
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Post by Saunari on Mar 7, 2011 19:52:07 GMT
Resisting the urge to curse out loud, she simply glared at the approaching helicopter. She wasn't going to be giving those bastards a single coin if she could help it!
Turning to look at Temporis she asked, "And what are you going to do to stop them!?"
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Post by timesting on Mar 7, 2011 22:19:44 GMT
!You can, cancan, cancan too."
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Post by jokester on Mar 7, 2011 22:26:08 GMT
The Snark gives Temporis the most disbelieving look conceivable, and then facepalms twice.
The dwarves and the helicopter are still approaching.
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Post by timesting on Mar 8, 2011 11:05:14 GMT
;D
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Post by jokester on Mar 8, 2011 11:07:03 GMT
The dwarves drop from the ropes and spread out, coming at you in a sort of pincer movement. One of them calls for you to remain where you are.
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Post by timesting on Mar 8, 2011 12:09:12 GMT
'Drink anyone?'
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Post by jokester on Mar 8, 2011 12:12:00 GMT
The four men immediately become more friendly.
"Don't mind if I do," replies one. "What have you got?"
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Post by timesting on Mar 8, 2011 14:06:40 GMT
'What will it be?'
take hat off my head and put my arm in it.
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Post by jokester on Mar 8, 2011 14:53:11 GMT
"Well, I could do with a scotch," the first dwarf says.
"Got any beer?" asks the second.
"Make that a double," insists the third.
"Whatever's there's good for me," sighs the fourth.
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Post by timesting on Mar 8, 2011 21:48:28 GMT
'Anyone like cider?'
ps this cider is made from the poison apples just for information.
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Post by jokester on Mar 8, 2011 21:51:28 GMT
And you have access to poisoned cider... why?
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Post by timesting on Mar 8, 2011 23:02:31 GMT
Well for some reason when i went to pull out alcohol it gave me four bottles of Poison Apple (R) Cider.
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Post by jokester on Mar 8, 2011 23:32:30 GMT
The fourth dwarf takes a bottle and downs it immediately. The first one takes his and peers at the label. The second shrugs and pockets one, and the third takes a swig and frowns.
The fourth clutches his side and collapses, coughing, before going still. The third staggers, but remains upright. The first two point their swords towards the two of you. The helicopter swoops down lower above you, the wind from its propeller almost blowing you off your feet.
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Post by timesting on Mar 9, 2011 20:31:56 GMT
i Outgribe
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Post by jokester on Mar 9, 2011 20:58:23 GMT
The outgribing fails. All that actually comes out is a faint squeak. One of the dwarves darts forward and presses his sword to Tamel's throat.
"Tamel Stoneshaper, you owe the Dwarven War Effort 10 gold pieces. We have intelligence to suggest that you are incapable of paying, and therefore we have authority to put you before a tribunal. Also: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?" he says, pointing at Temporis.
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Post by timesting on Mar 10, 2011 21:31:12 GMT
I dig in my hat and produce a baguette and a bagel and hand them to Tamel. 'think these are yours.'
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Post by Saunari on Mar 11, 2011 17:07:21 GMT
At this point, Tamel wasn't sure if the appearance of the loaves was a stroke of luck or a sign of grave misfortune. Suppressing a shudder from remembering the 'Baguette Incident' she tried to think of how to turn this to her advantage. With a sword to her throat there wasn't much she could do except... Looking at the bagel she saw it was filled with her mother's cream cheese!
She coated her hand with the filling and then grabbed the sword. The 'cheese' ate through the metal almost instantly. Hoping the baguette was only rock solid, she whacked the dwarf over the head with it.
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Post by jokester on Mar 11, 2011 20:47:50 GMT
The dwarf collapses, stunned. Tamel looks confusedly at her hand to find that the reaction between cheese and metal has apparently set it on fire. The helicopter immediately drops a net onto Tamel from above while the remaining non-poisoned dwarf goes for Temporis.
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Post by timesting on Mar 14, 2011 10:23:35 GMT
what does it look like the net is made of.
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Post by jokester on Mar 14, 2011 15:39:14 GMT
You know, now that you mention it, it actually appears to be made of gold, or something like it. That's dwarves for you.
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Post by jokester on Mar 16, 2011 14:07:00 GMT
Oh, and also the helicopter just dropped another net on top of Temporis while he's distracted by the other dwarf.
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Post by jokester on Mar 21, 2011 23:42:08 GMT
The two nets are attached to the helicopter with wires and it flies off, the two coma-sickness-ridden passengers bumping off each other as it goes.
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Post by timesting on Mar 25, 2011 1:14:12 GMT
I look towards the atoms of the gold and whisper silently; "please move out of the way i want to get back to the ground."
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Post by jokester on Mar 25, 2011 9:06:03 GMT
There is a pause within which nothing happens. Then the gold suddenly and obediently moves, all coalescing above you at the top of the net. Unfortunately, it turns out there is iron underneath.
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Post by timesting on Mar 25, 2011 19:19:56 GMT
Ah I see this is gold plated, well that just takes a little Irony.
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